When my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife,” I was stunned. But instead of reacting angrily, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new approach to marriage.
Our relationship had always been strong, and I prided myself on being the level-headed one. Jake, on the other hand, could get swept up in ideas, from random hobbies to self-help fads. But things took a strange turn when he started hanging out with a coworker named Steve.
Steve was one of those loud, overconfident guys who thought he knew everything about everything, especially relationships. He was perpetually single but felt compelled to give marriage advice to his colleagues. Jake, for some reason, began hanging onto his every word, despite Steve having zero experience in long-term relationships.
Soon, Jake started making comments that raised red flags. “Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d mention. Or, “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands.” At first, I brushed off these remarks, but they gradually became more frequent and irritating. Jake had never been this critical before, and it felt like he was subtly trying to mold me into Steve’s ideal version of a wife.
Then one day, Jake came home, sat me down, and handed me a piece of paper. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but I think there’s room for improvement,” he said in a tone that made me bristle. I looked at the paper, and at the top, it read, “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.”
The schedule was nothing short of absurd. According to this plan, I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day, make Jake a gourmet breakfast, hit the gym to “stay in shape,” and complete a full list of chores before heading to my full-time job. After work, I was expected to prepare home-cooked dinners and serve snacks to Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist, insulting, and completely unrealistic.
Jake, oblivious to how offensive this was, beamed with pride, thinking he’d done something revolutionary for our marriage. In that moment, I had a choice: explode with anger or handle the situation calmly. I chose the latter, smiled, and said, “Sure, babe, I’ll start tomorrow.” He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I crafted my own list: “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted me to follow an insane schedule, I’d do the same for him—but with a hefty price tag. I included expenses for a personal trainer, organic groceries, cooking classes, and even a $75,000 salary replacement since I wouldn’t be able to work full-time with his demands. I also added a $50,000 budget for a “man cave” so he and his friends wouldn’t disturb my newfound routine.
When Jake came home and saw the list, his smugness quickly turned to confusion and then shock. “Wait, what’s all this? $1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? You’re quitting your job?” he stammered, staring at the paper in disbelief.
I calmly explained that if he expected me to follow such an unrealistic schedule, we needed to budget accordingly. The absurdity of his original list finally hit him, and he realized how ridiculous and unfair his demands had been. “I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he muttered, clearly regretting the whole thing.
We had a heart-to-heart that evening. I explained that marriage isn’t about controlling or fixing each other; it’s about mutual respect and working together as equals. Jake apologized, admitting he’d been foolish to listen to Steve’s toxic advice.
Together, we tore up both lists, symbolically restoring balance to our relationship. In the end, this incident served as a wake-up call for both of us. Marriage isn’t about one person striving to be “better” for the other—it’s about growing together, as partners, on equal footing.